Pregnancy Reflections

Pregnancy is kind of funny.  In some ways, it’s a flurry of activity – researching baby gear, preparing the nursery, reading all the birth stories.  

In other ways, it’s such a natural time for reflection.

In these last few weeks (baby is due in less than one month!) of pregnancy, I find myself thinking a lot about what pregnancy and the newborn days were like last time, and what has been, and will be, so different this time.

Parts of both of my pregnancies have been really similar.  I had fairly minimal morning sickness with both, for which I’m obviously very grateful.

I’ve been super excited and anxious for all of the changes to come with both.

That’s kind of where the similarities end though.

On the downside, I have been so, so much more tired this time.  I’m not sure how much of this has to do with having a busy toddler at home, and how much has to do with hormones / the general mysteries of pregnancy, but the exhaustion has been real. 

I did not feel that promised second trimester energy boost in the slightest this time.  I have days where I feel so guilty for being such a boring wife and mom because I really just want to sit there and do absolutely nothing.  And then I have days when I feel like a totally normal person.  It’s weird.

This pregnancy has also gone by so much faster than the last one, which has been great!  I am a worrier by nature, but have spent far less time buried in anxiety and counting down the days until my next doctor’s appointment so I could hear that everything is okay this time around.  I fully credit this to having another human to take care of, rather than to any sort of improvement in my stress management skills.  Still, I’ll take it.

I believe I have a total of one photo of myself from this pregnancy – whoops.  Perhaps I can remedy that in the next few weeks.

While I find pregnancy fascinating, I’ve been even more preoccupied with thinking about how things will be different with the second baby.  Of course I can’t really know, even a little bit, but since when has that ever kept someone from obsessing over something at 2 AM?

I *hope* that I will have less anxiety.  I *know* that I will be more tired with the sleep deprivation combined with toddler energy levels.  I’ve told everyone who asks that all I want for Christmas is a stockpile of good coffee.

I know that having a toddler at home will make things harder in some ways, but I also feel like (hope?) it might make some things easier.  I have a very, very verbal and chatty two year old, so I will not face the new mom challenge of going all day without a real conversation.  Sure, our conversations include whether or not we eat polar bears and whether or not jellyfish eat spaghetti, but I’ll take it.

I think the biggest difference is that my anxieties are a lot less vague.  I have specific worries (Will my mom make it to Austin in time to be with James while I have the baby?  Will breastfeeding be easier?  How will I ever leave the house once the baby is on a nap schedule and James has to nap too?) rather than a general feeling of I have no clue what my life will be like in a month.  In some ways this is probably easier, and in some ways it’s harder.

This post is about as rambley as my mind right now.  Just some very random thoughts on what’s going through my mind in this last month of pregnancy with my second child.  Thank you for reading if you made it this far 🙂

If you’ve been pregnant more than once, were your pregnancies similar or totally different?

Any thoughts from parents of two or more on things I’m forgetting to worry about?