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Montessori Floor Bed Update
Good morning!
I’ve been somewhat scared to write this post as it seems like anytime I start to write something about James’s sleep improving, I jinx it and the improvements immediately disappear. In an effort to overcome my superstitions though, I wanted to share an update on James’s sleeping situation, his naps, and specifically, the floor bed.
I wrote here about the reasons for using a floor bed and how it was working for us. In short, it worked GREAT for the first six months or so. James hated his bassinet, and loved his floor bed. I liked that he could look around his environment and that we could comfort him easily without taking him out of bed.
Not surprisingly, everything got a little more challenging when he became more mobile, around six months. Obviously I knew this time would come and he would some day be able to get out of bed. I did not know how that would impact his sleep, but figured we’d deal with that when the time came.
At first, it was fine. Bedtime and nap time were a little more challenging, as he’d scoot out of bed a few times (on purpose, very cautiously, he never hurt himself this way). I would go in and silently put him back in bed without making eye contact to avoid stimulating him / making him think this behaviour would lead to play time with mom.
With some experimenting, I learned that if I went in right when he got out of bed, it quickly became a game for him. So instead I would wait 4-5 minutes and then go put him back in bed. This often worked and he’d go to sleep after a few round of this. Sometimes for naps though, he would get too riled up and excited so I would help him go to sleep. I would sit next to him silently with a hand on his back, avoiding eye contact or stimulation. This worked well, but I did feel like it was a step backwards since he had previously been falling asleep on his own. Still, I hoped that it would improve with time as he adjusted to his new freedom.
I should also mention, I removed all toys from his shelf whenever he went to bed so that there was nothing too enticing in his room. Still though, he easily amused himself by looking in his mirror or playing with his rug or window shade. No toys needed!
Separately from this, we had the nap struggles I mentioned many times. James had always taken a long morning nap and two short afternoon naps. Suddenly at about six months, almost all of his naps were short (35 minutes). This had happened a few times in the past for a period of a few days, but this time it went on and on for weeks. I went a little bit crazy….
I read everything I could find on baby sleep, circadian rhythms, ideal durations between naps, ideal times for naps, etc. I tried keeping him up longer, keeping him up shorter, putting him on a nap schedule based on the information in Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. Nothing worked….
I tracked all of his naps, trying to decode what went right when he occasionally took a longer one.
Possibly the funniest, but worst strategy I tried was what I fondly refer to as “poking the bear”. I read that sometimes babies just get in the habit of short naps, and if you can interrupt their sleep cycle by gently nudging them a few minutes before they wake up, they will sleep longer. Yeah, this was a disaster for us. He just woke up, understandably pissed off, turning a 35 minute nap into a 25 minute nap. NOT GOOD.
Honestly, I think this was a total missing the forest for the trees situation. I was so focused on the details of his sleep times and trying to get it exactly right that I failed to take a step back and consider the broader situation.
James had always stirred at 35 minutes – if I watched the monitor, he would turn his head or move his hand, but go right back to sleep. This was just when his sleep cycle naturally transitioned. However, once he became mobile, he would pop his little head up and get right out of bed to explore. He was just too curious, too drawn to roll, and then crawl, around his environment. Who needs sleep when the big wide world awaits? Everyone, that’s who.
It felt a bit like giving up, but I decided I needed to try something other than the floor bed for naps. My friend Laura had told me about the Lotus travel crib and I liked it better than a traditional crib or pack and play for several reasons. It’s on the floor and James is used to sleeping this way – I didn’t know how he would react to suddenly being up high and wanted to minimize the disruption of the change.
It also unzips in front. I like that I can unzip it and let him come out on his own when it’s time.
Lastly, I love that it travels! We have several trips coming up and I love that I’ll be able to bring this with us to help the little guy sleep as well as possible on vacation. It folds up very small and the case can be worn as a backpack.
I had been thinking of trying this for a few weeks, but I had no idea if it would work and it was a little bit expensive, so I was hesitant. I got desperate though and decided to try it.
It was like magic! The very day I started using it, he took his normal two short naps, but then slept for an hour for his third one! It’s been two weeks since then and there has only been one day that he did not take at least one long nap. Things have actually been getting gradually better too, with his morning nap lengthening to an hour and twenty minutes many days. There have been several days where he’s taken two, hour plus naps and not needed the late afternoon cat nap. It seemed like this would never happen!
I was so stressed about him getting enough sleep, not to mention how unpredictable our days were and how difficult it was to do things with him always on the verge of being over-tired and needing to nap. This thing has been a life saver!
After a week of excellent (for him) naps, I decided to use the Lotus for night time sleep too. He was sleeping okay at night, but it was sometimes taking him a really long time to fall asleep at bedtime. After seeing how well it worked for him during the day, it was an easy decision to move away from the floor bed at night, for now.
This is by no means meant as a knock against the floor bed – I’ve seen it work well for many babies at the school where I taught! It was just a great reminder for me to remember to observe my own specific, unique baby and do what works for him.
Maria Montessori was a scientist who observed children and tried things based on what she saw. I don’t believe she would ever say that one thing worked for all children or that a method should be blindly, rigidly applied without considering the individual child. She wrote of following the child and of giving the child freedom within limits – I think James needs more limits than the floor bed gives him right now, and that’s okay.
The great thing about it is, it’s just a twin mattress, so it’s not like I bought an expensive piece of baby equipment that is going to waste. We’ll just put it away for now and watch him to see when he’s ready to give it another try.
I definitely don’t regret using the floor bed, but I am SO happy to have moved on to something that’s working for us now!
Thoughts on a Floor Bed
I have pretty much zero talent with design. I am simply not a visual person. However, I very much believe in the impact of a well-designed environment, on adults and children alike. I certainly saw this when teaching in a Montessori classroom, where simple tweaks in the organization and flow of the room could alter behaviors and classroom dynamics. Thus, I was excited to design the little buddy’s room when I was pregnant. I read many blog posts and articles about Montessori baby rooms, and couldn’t wait to put it into practice. One thing I was the most excited, curious, and anxious about was the floor bed (a simple bed or mattress on the floor, rather than a crib). I loved this idea, but wasn’t sure how well it would work in real life.
While I planned to use a floor bed, I had read that new babies liked to be in more confined spaces. I also wanted to keep James close for the first few months, so we chose a lovely bassinet, gifted to us by my parents. We set up James’s floor bed in his room, and put the bassinet in our room by our bed. I chose one of the larger bassinets, with hopes that he could stay in there longer, until he was ready for his floor bed.
Things did not go as planned (shocking, I know). When we brought James home from the hospital, he slept terribly the first few nights. I put him in the bassinet awake; I put him in asleep; every time resulted in crying within a few minutes. I thought he just had his days and nights reversed, as happens with many newborns. One night, when he started crying, I took him into his room, figuring that at least this way, my husband and I could take turns sleeping. There was no reason we should both be up all night. This was what led me to first put him in his floor bed as a newborn.
It was an instant change! He still of course woke often to eat, but he slept for hours at a time, for the first time since we’d brought him home. No more constant wake-ups and tears! I couldn’t believe it. I’m still not sure what he so strongly preferred about his floor bed versus his bassinet, but he certainly made his opinion clear. Perhaps the mattress was more comfortable, perhaps he liked being closer to the ground, perhaps he could see me better and felt safer. I have no idea. I feel so lucky though that we had that option available, or who knows how long it would have taken him to accept sleeping in the bassinet.
Another benefit has been the ease of comforting him when he has trouble to fall asleep. It is so easy to lie next to him and put a hand on his belly (or back, now that he rolls over), without having to pick him up. I think this has helped him learn to fall asleep independently (though this is still a work in progress). I imagine this would be far more difficult in a bassinet or crib. Also, since he has been sleeping in his own room from the start, we won’t have to deal with the struggle of transitioning him out of our room when he is older and more aware. As he goes to bed around seven o’clock, we don’t go to bed with him, so he is already used to going to bed in there on his own.
The only downside has been that, due to the SIDS prevention recommendations of sleeping in the same room as the baby for the first six months, either my husband or I sleep next to him on the floor on a camping mattress. This is obviously not ideal, but it’s only for a few more weeks. We considered moving his mattress into our room, but didn’t want to create a future challenge of transitioning him to his own room later.
So far, our experience with the floor bed has been overwhelmingly positive. I’m curious to see if this remains true as he gets older. James is fighting every day to become more mobile. His crawling attempts right now look more like swimming, with only his belly on the floor, limbs flailing, but I know it won’t be long until he’s moving about freely. I very much hope that he adjusts well once he’s mobile and that the floor bed continues to work so well for our family. We shall see!
Lilah Rose at Four Months
Somehow another month has gone by!
It’s easy to feel like every day is the same, but looking back at Lilah’s three month update, a lot has actually changed!
It will always remain amazing to me how quickly these tiny people develop.
Here’s a peek at Lilah at four months old!
Personality
Lilah is still so sweet and squishy, and she is developing quite the funny little personality!
The biggest change with her personality this month has been a strong sense of stranger danger.
We saw this with both sets of grandparents this month (not that they’re strangers! She hasn’t seen them a ton though).
Everything I’ve read says stranger danger starts later, so I thought it was a fluke at first, but she started crying pretty much any time one of them held her, and sometimes just being in the same room.
It was kind of funny, because I’ve told them all what a happy and easygoing baby she is, which is normally true!
This has been super interesting to me because my toddler never had any fear of strangers at all, and still doesn’t! It’s so fun to see how different their little personalities are from the very beginning.
Other than that, she remains very happy. She loves babbling and having little conversations with us.
She loves watching James play, but also gives him the funniest looks like, “what the heck is that guy doing?” (I give him the same looks sometimes….)
She loves being read to (these are her favorite books) and listening to classical music.
She gets so calm and quiet every time we go outside. If she is ever fussy or upset, I head straight outside and she stops crying almost immediately every time.
She is great at self soothing and loves to suck her tiny thumb.
She loves watching other babies and children and is always very quiet and intent on observing them if we’re out with other children.
She is just super sweet and snuggly and it is getting hard to imagine our family without her these days. She has been the best addition.
Development
This month was all about rolling!
While Lilah rolled from back to belly for the first time at the beginning of the month, it did not become really easy for her until about a week ago.
She now rolls over frequently and loves laying on her belly and looking around at the world. Fortunately she is now really good at holding her head up too, so I don’t have to worry as much about her bonking her head on the wood floors when she does this.
The day after she turned four months old, she rolled from her belly to her back for the first time. This is still hard for her and is kind of a funny process to watch as she starts with her head and upper body and then just lays there for a minute before rolling her legs over. It looks super uncomfortable, but she doesn’t seem to mind it..
Her little hands and fine motor abilities are also developing and she loves her play gym right now and bringing toys to her mouth. She frequently lays there with her hands clasped, which makes her look so funny and serious.
Sleep
I called it – totally jinxed her sleep by saying how well she was doing in her three month update.
I’m just kidding of course, but she definitely hit a regression last month. I think it was a combination of taking away the swaddle, her really wanting to practice rolling, and the four month sleep regression hitting a bit early.
Her night sleep remained okay, but was not as solid as before…no more sleeping through the night. For a couple of weeks she was waking up twice, sometimes more. She would wake up “rage rolling” as I like to call it – desperately practicing rolling and grunting about it.
Thankfully she is now back to waking up once a night to eat, which I am fine with.
The harder part of sleep this month was naps. She went very suddenly from taking 2-3 hour naps to only taking 30-45 minute naps. I think this was part of the 4 month sleep regression, as she needed to learn to connect her sleep cycles. This naturally made her quite grumpy by evening time though.
Just this past week (starting the day after she turned 4 months old), she has started napping well again. She has started rolling onto her belly to sleep and it seems to be helping her nap a lot better. She now sometimes only takes 3 naps instead of 4, since they are longer.
The other change with sleep has been that she no longer naps easily on the go. We went to the park last week and she cried the whole time instead of falling asleep in the carrier. I decided to call it quits and just go home, and she of course finally fell asleep right when we got to the car. That was fun.
So we’re in a bit of a tricky stage for getting out of the house, but I know her awake time windows will stretch soon and that will get easier. Right now I’m just trying to find a balance between getting her good sleep and making sure we get out enough that my toddler and I don’t lose our minds 🙂
Routine
Honestly, our routine is a little on the boring side at the moment, but that is totally fine and just a part of this stage.
I’m not going to write out the whole thing, because it’s basically an ongoing cycle of napping, eating, and playing. Lilah takes all of her naps in her bed now, with the occasional nap on the go (not sure if we’re going to try the floor bed again, but for now she sleeps in the Lotus Travel Crib in our room).
We go to music class every Thursday, which she continues to love, and generally have another playdate or outing sometime in the week and stay home the other days.
I’ve resorted to Instacart (<- referral link) because grocery shopping just doesn’t seem “worth it” to mess with her naps and it’s hard to feed her, get there and back again within the time she’s awake these days (generally 1 hr 30 min – 1 hr 45 min).
We stayed home a lot this month, but spent lots of time in the backyard and watching the rain out the window, which she loves.
While it’s hard to be home on the days when one of the little ones is feeling grumpy, we’ve also had some wonderful days at home together and it’s been nice to take a step back from being so on the go.
I’m very much enjoying this stage, where she is not yet mobile but has so much personality. It’s been really fun to watch her bond with James start to grow and I’m excited to see what this next month brings!
Montessori abc Book
My Montessori abc book uses phonetic sounds. Montessori teaches phonetic sounds, rather than letter names, to help children learn to read.
The book also uses one letter and image per page. This helps the child focus and not be overwhelmed. Photographic images are used to spark curiosity and encourage the child to learn about the real world.
You can purchase the book here!
This page contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support!
Thoughts on the first 7 weeks
Hello, hello!
I hope everyone is having a great week. It is a good one so far over here.
I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to do updates on Lilah like I did with James and I think I will, probably until she’s one or two like I did with him. At the end of the day, I just really love having them to look back on!
I plan on posting a Lilah update soon, but until then, here’s a look at how our family has been adjusting in these first seven weeks with two little ones.
Personally, I was a lot less nervous about having an infant this time, but definitely anxious about what it would be like to have two and, specifically, how my toddler would adjust, so hopefully this is helpful to someone!
The honeymoon period
We are so fortunate that my husband got six weeks off for paternity leave. I know this is not the norm, and it certainly made a huge difference in these early weeks.
In some ways, his paternity leave was easier (for me haha – probably not so much for him) this time because there were so many obvious ways that he could help.
My husband is a super helpful person, like it’s one of his defining characteristics, but with a breastfed infant, there is only so much a husband can do. He certainly helped a ton with diapers and soothing when James was born, but I obviously was the one feeding him around the clock.
This time around, he definitely took the lead on taking care of our toddler. We tried to switch off as much as possible so that he got to spend time with the baby and I got to spend time with James, but in the first couple of weeks it was too hard for me physically to be down on the floor playing Legos or running around the backyard.
Having my husband around definitely eased the transition for James as he really got just as much attention as usual, if not more, just from a different person. (Spoiler alert – this does not mean the transition has been easy for our little two year old….)
The other wonderful thing about the early weeks was that Lilah often took a long nap at the same time James did. This meant Nick and I frequently had a 2-3 hour stretch to get stuff done / get out of the house / connect with each other.
We lucked out with some truly beautiful weather (love Texas winter!) and I spent many nap times simply sitting outside reading this book or this one (<- giveaway soon!) and enjoying the sunshine.
We absolutely had a few very rough days in the early weeks, and there was naturally very little sleep, but I seriously think I will cherish that time together as a family forever. I very much hope that longer paternity leave becomes a more regular thing in this country!
What we’re doing differently
Overall, we’re still just stumbling through this newborn time in a foggy haze, alternating between cherishing the cutest little squishy baby and looking forward to when she is slightly older and (*hopefully*) sleeps a little better.
There are a few things we’re doing differently though, mostly regarding sleep. Here are the main differences:
Naps
When James was an infant, he took all of his naps on me. This was not a conscious choice, I just knew absolutely nothing about baby sleep and was keeping him up too long, so he always fell asleep on me when he was nursing.
I really loved all of the snuggles, but it was also hard to be essentially trapped all day and unable to get anything done. We transitioned him to napping in his bed (I think around 2 months?), but it was difficult.
I knew with Lilah that I wanted to help her nap in her bed from the very start. I put her down for at least one nap a day in her bassinet starting the day after we got home from the hospital – and it went great!
She frequently took 2-3 hour naps in her bassinet in the early weeks, which meant I could spend time with James. I did still let her sleep on me though, mostly in the afternoons and evenings, because the feeling of holding a sleeping baby is probably my favorite part of the newborn stage and I didn’t want to miss it!
Now that she’s a little older, naps are a bit trickier, but I’m still trying to help her nap in her bassinet as much as possible, so that I can play with James, and so that she learns how to fall asleep on her own.
I often let her sleep on me while he’s napping though – got to get those snuggles in! I also think this helps keep her from getting too overtired, as her naps on me are generally about 5 times longer than her naps in the bassinet.
The bassinet
This is nothing we really did differently, but Lilah seems very content to sleep in her bassinet – thank goodness! James boycotted the bassinet from day 1 and never slept in there, so he transitioned to his Montessori floor bed in his room right away.
This wouldn’t be a bad thing except that we wanted to sleep in the same room for the first six months per the SIDS prevention recommendations, which meant an air mattress on his floor – not the most comfortable! I was very happy when she took to the bassinet right away.
Drowsy, but awake
We frequently placed Lilah in her bed completely asleep in the earliest days because, well, she was almost always sleeping!
As soon as she began to “wake up” a bit more though, we started offering naps when she was drowsy, but not asleep, and this definitely seems to have made a difference in her ability to fall asleep on her own.
I remember spending hours rocking James to sleep at night when he was little and she mostly just goes back to sleep on her own after eating in the middle of the night (except two nights ago, when she was up from 12-3, so who knows….). Overall I think it’s helped, but every baby is different of course, so she could just be a naturally better sleeper.
Not responding to every “peep”
With James, I’m pretty sure I got him out of bed and rocked him or fed him every time he made a “peep”.
With Lilah, I’m really trying to determine if she’s actually waking up / hungry or if she’s just making noises as her sleep cycle transitions. This is hard to do in the middle of the night, but I do think it’s led to some longer stretches of sleep!
She only woke up to eat once last night from 7:45 – 6:20 and it was everything. I’m sure this will change and we’ll have good nights and bad nights, but it gives me hope 🙂
I really like this book for information on baby sleep. Sleep is such a personal thing and I don’t agree with everything in this book, but it definitely helped me understand how long babies of different ages can generally stay awake without getting over-tired and how to tell if they’re hungry or just making noise.
The K’tan carrier
A big part of Montessori is freedom of movement, even for little babies. This means lots of time playing on the floor, and not lots of time spent in strollers / seats / carriers. Hence with James, I used the carrier for errands, but never really at home.
Lilah hangs out in the K’tan carrier almost every afternoon. This is because, while she generally naps well in her bassinet, afternoon naps are harder and I simply can’t spend all afternoon trying to get her to nap. Even if I wanted to, James won’t let me!
She often takes her late afternoon nap in the carrier and it lets me get in some snuggles and also spend time with James and prep (not cook!) dinner.
I will say this carrier hurts my back when I use it too much, but I may just be doing it wrong. I’ve found this video super helpful with putting it on!
Things that have been easier
Breastfeeding
This is definitely the number one difference in my experience with my second child, versus my first.
I have no idea if it has been easier because I have some experience, or if Lilah is just more of a natural with eating, but breastfeeding has been 1000X easier.
James struggled to gain weight, which meant I had to pump after every time I fed him for a while to keep up milk supply and supplement with bottles. He also took an hour pretty much every time he ate. With a little newborn eating every two hours, this meant I spent 10-12 hours a day breastfeeding, plus pumping. That was a lot!
In contrast Lilah takes 10-20 minutes each time she eats and is gaining weight like a champ. This has been such a huge relief to me.
Anxiety
I’m naturally a super anxious person, so I still have lots of anxiety, but it’s for sure less all-consuming this time around. A lot of this probably has to do with Lilah’s strong weight gain, and I think some of it has to do with just being busier and having less time to worry.
I am also *really* trying not to Google everything, and to rely a little more on my intuition, which is not my strong suit.
I actually think my husband and I are a great balance with this. I like to read all the things, while he generally just kind of wings it.
Watching him, I actually think he has a lot better intuition with what Lilah needs sometimes because he’s able to watch her cues without all of the (conflicting!) noise from the experts clouding his thinking. Something I’m working on!
Sleep
I already talked a lot about this above, but not having to pump in the middle of the night, coupled with Lilah usually going back to sleep on her own, mean a lot more sleep for us. The flip side of this is I can’t sleep in because of my early rising toddler, but it still feels better to sleep more in the middle of the night.
Note: Over the three of four days it’s taken me to write this post, she has slept so poorly at night, so hopefully we’ll get back to good sleep soon! Baby sleep is always changing….
Things that have been harder
Toddler Transition
Watching James become a big brother has been beautiful in so many ways, but has also been one of the hardest parts of parenting for me.
He is so sweet to Lilah, but I can also see him struggling with this huge change, and it breaks my heart.
I want so much to be able to give him 100% of my attention during what I know is a hard time for him, but obviously that’s not possible.
I try to make sure he has some good one on one time every day and I remind myself constantly of how much I love having a brother and sister. I know this will be a good experience for him in the end, but it is still really hard to see him struggling (and really hard to remain patient even though I know his behavior is a natural expression of his feelings around this big transition).
Check out my post on helping toddlers transition with a new baby here!
On the flip side, it is also hard to feel like I can’t give Lilah 100% of my attention. I feel like so much of the day she is just along for the ride.
I know she is getting a lot out of just being in the midst of family life, but I still really love the times when she is awake during James’s nap and I can just watch her enjoy her Munari mobile or book, both of which she currently loves!
Right now, every day is different. Some days are so good and sweet and some days are so, so hard.
I am trying to cherish the good days and moments and breathe through the hard ones, remaining as calm as possible.
Thanks for reading along – I would love to hear your experiences with having a baby or second child, or any way you deal with big changes in life.
Please note that this post contains affiliate links. All opinions are my own.
Reflecting on One Year – What I Would Do Differently
With James’s first birthday rapidly approaching, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the past year, and specifically on what I would do differently.
I couldn’t come up with too much, not because I’ve done such an awesome job (lol), but because it’s still so close to it all – I’ll probably have a better idea of what I would change in a decade or so when the results of all of my mistakes are more obvious 🙂
There are a few things I would try to do differently though.
1. Remove the pressure!
James was not gaining weight quickly enough the first few weeks and I felt SO MUCH pressure to make breastfeeding work, and it was 100% from myself.
I have mixed feelings about this, because it did work out in the end and has been easy and wonderful for months, and I know this is in part because I worked really hard to increase my supply. Still, I was pretty miserable for a while and felt like such a failure whenever my husband gave James a bottle of supplemental formula, and that is just ridiculous.
I was convinced that if he had any bottles at all in the first few weeks, he would refuse to breastfeed, and this was not the case at all. He needed supplemental formula for a few weeks while we figured things out, and then he didn’t need it anymore and everything was fine. He hasn’t had a bottle since he was probably three months old (not that there is anything wrong with bottles, just to say he did not show a preference for them like I read he might).
More importantly, even if breastfeeding hadn’t worked out, there are millions of happy, healthy formula fed babies out there thriving. I know in my heart that what matters most is that I’m here for him, showing him I love him and that he is safe, not what he’s eating.
I’m not entiredly sure where this pressure came from, but I suspect that it was my way of dealing with fear. I was so scared of SIDS and so scared something would happen to him, and I think I dealt with that by trying to control this one thing.
While I’m so happy breastfeeding worked out for us, I know everything would be totally okay if it had not. I really hope that if we have another baby, I can be a little more relaxed about this.
2. Read about baby sleep
I read so many parenting books and blogs when I was pregnant, but apparently I failed to read up on the basics of baby sleep.
I did not realize how incredibly frequently newborns need to nap. Because of this, I kept James awake too long and he fell asleep on me while I was feeding him. All of the time. This was no big deal at first because he was a sleepy newborn and I could just put him down after he fell asleep and go about my day. As the weeks went by though and he became more alert, he would wake up whenever I put him down. It got to where he would basically only nap on me.
I was so focused on making sure he got enough to eat, it took me a while to deal with this. Once I realized it was a problem, I started transitioning him to napping in his bed (I started with the morning nap, as it was the easiest for him to fall asleep, and went from there). It turned out okay, but I know it would have been a lot less stressful if I had started putting him in his bed to nap from the beginning.
Then again, those baby snuggles….
3. Make more freezer meals
I stopped working a few weeks before James was born, so had lots of time at home. I read up on freezer meals and found many great looking recipes. And then I made one of them. Yep, just the one. We survived (largely off of bagel sandwiches and eggs), but I would definitely take more time to stock the freezer next time.
4. Join a group
I got about ten times happier once I started getting out more and meeting other new moms. It goes 100% against my shy and introverted nature, but I wish I had joined some sort of pregnant ladies group (do these exist?) before I had James so that I had other sleep deprived crazy people to talk to in the newborn days. I had so much support from my husband, family, and friends, but there is something about connecting with people going through the same thing. Plus, who else will answer your texts at 3 AM?
5. Sleep in our own bed!
James refused to sleep in his bassinet. No matter what we tried, he started screaming whenever we put him in there. He loved his floor bed right away though, and slept in there just fine. So while we had planned to have him sleep in our room for the first few months (to reduce SIDS), he transitioned to his own room within a few days. But I was so worried about the SIDS thing, that we transitioned with him. We took turns sleeping on a camping mattress in his room for SIX MONTHS. There is not enough coffee in all the world….
The thing is, our room is literally across the hall from his. We could have opened both doors and it would practically be the same thing. And I probably would have been functioning during the day, at least somewhat.
I’m not sure if I could actually change this, because SIDS is so scary and I was so paranoid, but I would definitely work harder to find a safe and functional sleep situation.
While I would do some things differently, there is one thing I am proud of – I really truly feel like I soaked up every minute of James’s first year. I spent time staring at him, cuddling him, and just being present and it was everything. Time does indeed pass quickly, but I know I did everything I could to slow it down, just a little bit, and that is worth the sleepless nights and hours spent googling and then some.
If you have multiple kids, did you do things differently the second time?
Happy Birthday to….the blog!
I don’t normally post on Saturdays, but I was just thinking, “Hey, I bet it’s been almost a year since I started posting.” So I checked. And it’s been exactly a year today! Who knew? Some part of my brain apparently.
I couldn’t let the day pass without popping in to say THANK YOU to everyone who reads. This has been such a wonderful creative outlet for me and such a great way to connect with people, when I spend many hours at home with just me and the little guy.
Here are the five most read posts from the year:
- Five Parenting Lessons I Learned as a Teacher This has been by far my most read post, by a factor of…45! I attribute this to the fact that the wonderful Janet Lansbury shared it on her Facebook page, so thank you very much Janet! If you are not familiar with her work, you should definitely check out her website.
- Baby Led Weaning – High Chair versus Weaning Chair
- The Beginning – my very first post.
- Birth Reflections – Why I’m Glad I got an Epidural
- Thoughts on a Floor Bed (here is the update for how the floor bed worked, or didn’t work, for us as James got older)
And these posts did not make the top five, but they are two of my favorites: How I Left the Corporate World for Montessori Part I and Part II.
It has been an amazing year and I’m so happy to have so much of it documented to look back on.
Here’s to another year, thanks for reading!
– Christina
What I Would Buy a Pregnant Friend: First Year Baby Favorites
It is inevitable, babies come with a lot of stuff.
Well, actually they come with nothing, and you have to buy a lot of stuff.
I do, however, really think the baby product industry blows this out of proportion. When you’re a first time mom, you don’t really know what baby will need and you’re dealing with all of the nesting urges, so it is easy to get carried away by the mile long lists of “necessities”.
Looking back on this first year, there are thankfully only a handful of products we got that we really didn’t use, but there are also definitely a few that stand out to me. These are the ones I would rush out and buy for my best friend if she got pregnant.
Ergobaby 360 Carrier
Board Books: Black and White, Global Babies
Lots of Links Toy
Rainbow Sound Blocks
Diapers! One of my husband’s best friends gave us SO MANY diapers that his daughter had outgrown. This was so, so helpful, as we really didn’t have to think about buying diapers at all for months. We’ve tried several brands and never had a problem with any of them, but it would be nice to give a friend a small package of several different kinds so she could try them out and see what they prefer.
Food Delivery Gift Card: I had a coworker expecting his first child, but they already had everything they needed. Our boss collected money to give him a gift card for Postmates for food delivery in the early months and I thought this was so thoughtful and creative! There were definitely many nights when we had no time or energy to think about dinner in the first month or two and I think this would be so helpful. Homemade dinners are also amazing of course, but having this as a fall back when something comes up would be so great.
Resource List: I think it would be so helpful to give a new or expecting parent a laminated list of resources they might need in the first few months. This could include a lactation consultant, favorite local story times, closest emergency room. best place nearby to buy diapers, etc.
These last two cost more than I’d spend for a baby gift, but have made a HUGE difference in our first year and are two of my very favorites that I would definitely recommend to a friend:
BOB 2016 Revolution FLEX Stroller
Lotus Travel Crib
These are some of the main products that we’ve loved this year and are largely still using today. The list is relatively short because every baby is so different, I think it’s definitely worth waiting until baby is born to buy a lot of things. For example, we never needed a swing or bouncer or changing table but I know they are a big help for some famlies. These are a few items though that I would feel confident gifting or recommending to a friend.
*Please note this post contains affiliate links – I get a small percentage if items are purchased, at no cost to you. I only include items I have and love. Thanks for your support!
Do you have any favorite baby products?
What are some must have toddler products?
My New Favorite Spot in the House
We’ve updated James’s nursery as he’s grown and the most recent update has become my favorite part of the house.
I’ve loved to read ever since I can remember. I’ve also always loved reading aloud for some reason. Even in high school, when I was super shy and would never raise my hand to comment in class, I would volunteer to read aloud in English class.
When teaching at the Montessori school where I worked, reading books to the children at group time was always one of my favorite things.
All this to say, I naturally couldn’t wait to read to James when he was born. I’ve read to him ever since he was a newborn. I used to read to him laying side by side on the floor. Then, I would sit him in my lap to read books together. Now he sometimes sits in my lap to read (usually before a nap or bedtime), and sometimes crawls around while I read, stopping to look at the pictures periodically…he is a busy guy.
We took the glider out of his room when he became mobile because, especially since he was using the floor bed at the time, I wanted his room to be completely baby proof and was worried he’d hurt his little fingers under the rockers. Even now that we’ve put a pause on the floor bed, I think it’s important for him to have a space of his own, where we don’t have to tell him “stop” or that things are unsafe for him.
Without the glider though, we were lacking a cozy spot to read. I decided to make a little reading nook for him, and we are both loving it.
Both the pillow and super soft rug came from Ikea. I will add a book shelf when he’s older, but for now, a little basket of books is enough.
I switch out the books every week or so and I love seeing which ones catch his interest!
I very much hope that James grows up loving to read as much as I do and I will read to him as much as he wants for as long as he lets me!
Do you love to read?
Did you love to read as a child?
Day in the Life – 7.5 Months
Here was our day yesterday – it was an interesting one….
We’ve fallen into a general pattern of staying home (apart from walks) about one day a week, running errands a couple of days, and doing things just for fun a couple of days. This was a just for fun day.
James slept really well last night (or so I thought…), waking up at 4:30 to eat, but otherwise sleeping soundly. I used to always get up for the day if he woke up around 4-5 to eat, but I’ve been really tired and decided to go back to bed. I get up for real just before 6.
I eat oatmeal and drink coffee (delicious cold brew from Trader Joe’s – this stuff is SO good) while working on blog posts. James wakes up at 6:45 and I go get him at 7:00. I find him playing in front of his mirror when I go in.
I change his diaper, nurse him, and put his toys on his shelf so that he can play. I’ve started putting his toys up at night to minimize distractions from sleep since he can now easily get out of his floor bed.
I thought James slept well, but he is pretty grumpy and seems tired this morning so I suspect he was quietly awake for a while, just not fussing or making noise.
He started army crawling last week and zips around his room. He crawls back into bed for the first time this morning – I’m glad to know he can do this now since he’s been able to get out of bed, but not back in, for a while now.
At around 7:30, we go in to see his Dad – always a happy time. I take a shower and make James’s breakfast while he plays with his Dad.
James eats baby oatmeal mixed with applesauce, coconut oil, cinnamon, chia and hemp seeds, and wild blueberries. I used to think he didn’t really like breakfast until I started giving him this concoction, which he LOVES.
He usually finishes it, but is still seeming tired and is not that into it this morning.
James plays on a blanket nearby while I clean up his breakfast and then we go play outside in the backyard. Now that the days are getting hot (already!), I’m trying to get outside with him in the mornings more when it’s still pleasant out.
Being outside seems to calm him down and he plays and explores quietly until it’s time to go inside and get ready for a nap.
We read The Runaway Bunny and I sing him a song and put him in his bed for nap time around 9:00 AM. He gets out of his bed twice and I go in to put him back without any words or eye contact. He then settles down and goes to sleep.
I get dressed, get a second cup of coffee, work on this post, steam some green beans for James, and load the dishwasher while he naps.
James woke up a little before ten after sleeping for around 40 minutes. I know this is not enough sleep for him considering how tired he was all morning, so I try to help him fall back to sleep. This works sometimes, but not today!
I change his diaper and nurse him and we get ready to go meet some friends at the Wildflower Center. This is where things got interesting…
We were in the car ready to go, but the car wouldn’t start. It just made a bunch if clicking noises and flashed a bunch of lights. Change of plans.
This was disappointing, but luckily my husband was working from home today, so he could take a look at it (I know nothing about cars). Even though he was home, we share a car since he bikes to work, so we were still stranded.
James played in his room for a bit, still tired and grumpy, but holding it together. I then made him lunch. Today he had green beans, whole wheat pita bread with olive oil, and red lentils cooked with ginger, red onion, and coconut milk. These are all things he likes, but he didn’t eat too much today. I knew this might happen since he was tired, but thought I’d at least try.
After lunch, we went for a stroller walk around the neighborhood. As you can see, he was thrilled 😉
I listened to Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child on Audible, but soon realized it was making me feel really depressed that James has been napping so poorly, so I turned it off and listened to Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman instead. I mostly kept thinking about naps though and now have no clue what is going in the book.
After we got home, one of my husband’s friends came and jumped our car. My husband then took it to an auto shop and it turned out it needed a new battery. I’m glad it was an easy fix.
James played a little more and then I read him a story and sang him a song and put him in bed for nap # 2. He doesn’t get out of bed at all this time and passes out almost immediately.
While James naps, I work on this post and eat lunch – leftovers of this delicious pasta salad (we used half chickpea pasta, goat cheese instead of feta, and added chicken and basil – so good!) and some cherries. Then I waited anxiously to see if James would take a good nap….(spoiler alert: no, no he would not).
James woke up right at 1:30. Honestly, this was really discouraging, but I tried to rally and enjoy more play time with him. He was actually in a surprisingly good mood, but was still tired, and took another nap at 3:00.
I prepped his dinner and did stuff around the house while he slept. He slept a record 24 minutes….
I sat outside with James for a little bit and then gave him an early dinner.
He ate ground beef with onions and tomatoes, avocado slices rolled in hemp seeds (to make them less slippery), green beans, and pear slices.
He ate surprisingly well considering how over-tired he was by this point.
He had a little more play time, then a bath, and a super early bedtime. Hopefully this extra sleep will help him be more rested tomorrow!
I’m so happy my husband got the car fixed earlier today because I had dinner plans with a good friend I hadn’t seen in a while. This was actually the first time I went out to dinner without the little guy since he was born. It may be time to find a babysitter!
It was a great, much needed end to a kind of rough day. On days like this though, I try to remember that even the hardest days with James are so good and so worth it. Here’s to a better tomorrow!
What was the best part of your day yesterday?
What was the hardest part?
James at 7 Months
As of yesterday, out little guy is officially seven months…decidedly over the hill toward the one year mark 🙁
It has been a challenging, but very fun month. We got out to explore more than ever and spent tons of quality time with family, the best! We also enjoyed some truly beautiful weather and spent many hours out in the sunshine.
Here’s a little bit about what life looks like with James at 7 months:
Eating
I was talking to a friend the other day and she told me her daughter (one month older than James) takes around an hour to eat, taking tiny bites. I had to laugh because that is so opposite of James. He shoves literally as much food as will fit into his mouth. He eats enthusiastically for about 15 minutes and then is DONE. He will start banging on the table and straining to get up.
He’s currently eating three times a day, but is sometimes not that into breakfast. Some days I feel like he eats almost as much as I do and some days he eats barely anything. I’m just following his lead on how much he wants.
His favorite foods right now seem to be sweet potatoes, pear, watermelon, and fried egg yolks. He does not seem to care much for lentils, but will eat some if they’re mixed with avocado or spread on sweet potato slices. I’m planning to make him pancakes this weekend, which I’m excited about! His meal times are still one of my favorite parts of the day.
Gross Motor
If I had to characterize this month in one word, it would be MOVEMENT. James is not yet crawling, but he is 100% mobile and can roll across the room in a flash.
In addition to speed, he’s come a long way in being able to get to precisely where he wants to go.
He is an expert at pivoting his body so that he can roll in the desired direction. He still prefers to roll in one direction though (to his left if he’s on his back), but this doesn’t slow him down much.
I’m curious to see if he will actually crawl since he’s so mobile already with just rolling, I’m not sure if the motivation / need will be there.
He still resists sitting unless he’s at story time or something super interesting is happening in front of him (such as cars driving down the street….) He does fine sitting in his chair to eat though. I think he’s just more interested in being on the move these days.
Fine Motor
I will write more about baby led weaning soon, but one thing I love about it is the impact it’s had on James’s fine motor skills. His ability to use his fingers, rather than his whole hand, to pick things up has grown dramatically in the past month. If he sees a little piece of one of his favorite foods, he gets a look of intense concentration and uses his chubby little fingers to pick it up and bring it to his mouth, almost in slow motion. You can see all of the effort it takes. What could be more motivating than tasty food?
He is also more and more able to manipulate objects in his hands to get a desired part into his mouth (whether it’s food or not….)
Sleep
Sleep has definitely been a challenge this month. I honestly don’t have the energy to talk about it too much right now and my thoughts are all over the place. Suffice it to say we’re working on getting naps back to a reasonable length (he’s actually taking a nice long one as I type, hooray!).
We’re also working with helping James fall asleep now that he’s realized he can get out of his floor bed. This just started this week so we’re still adjusting to this and figuring out the best strategy. I will definitely post a floor bed update once we figure out what works best for him and our family.
Personality
Seven words for seven months: joyful, energetic, curious, independent, friendly, determined, loved.
I know I mentioned that James went through a couple of weeks of feeling really grumpy, but thankfully he is back to his happy self. At the time, I thought his mood was due to short naps, but he is so happy again even though his naps are often still short. I now think it was likely due to all of the developmental leaps and changes he was going through (becoming mobile and learning to eat solid foods mainly). Change makes me grumpy too; I get it little dude.
He has been really cheerful the last couple of weeks though and this age is equally sweet and hilarious.
He loves being outside, playing silly games with his Dad, and EXPLORING. He likes toys, but I think he likes exploring the house just as much, which I love. He also likes sneezing – he always gets a big smile on his face after he sneezes, which I find hilarious.
He went in a baby swing for the first time the other day and LOVED it. He was laughing and smiling so big.
He also loves story time. I originally started going to story time at the library mainly for myself, to meet other moms with babies, but he now gets so excited when we’re there, grinning with his signature tongue-out smile the whole time. He seems to like going out in general more than he used to, as long as he can move around some while we’re out and not be cooped up in a carrier or stroller the whole time. It has been so nice to get out more this month.
James used to sometimes burst into tears if a stranger came over or if he was surrounded by too many people, but he has been so friendly lately. He gives huge smiles to strangers we see when we’re out and talks up a storm.
Speaking of talking, he has started saying “mama”. I honestly have no idea if he’s using this to refer to me though, or just saying the sounds, so I’m not sure if this counts as his first word? How can I tell?
He also continues to love bath time, and for some reason, particularly loves the time right after he gets out of the bath and before he gets ready for bed. He becomes giddy and ridiculously happy at this time, but still easily settles down when it’s time for bed.
It has been so much fun to see his big personality emerge more and more this month. I’m excited to see what the next month brings!