Three things that changed my perspective

Good morning and happy Friday!

Two posts in one week…who am I?

I am super excited for this weekend because my little brother is flying in from Chicago tomorrow to visit!  I saw him briefly at Christmas, but don’t see him nearly enough, so I’m super pumped 🙂  My mom and sister are also coming and I can’t wait to spend some extra time with them as well.

As I mentioned on Tuesday, I was initially having a really hard time with going back to work, mostly because I was feeling guilty and like it might be the wrong decision for James.  In addition to things just generally getting easier as we both adapted, there have been three things that really helped shift my perspective to seeing this as a positive change.

1. Trust your child

I know I’ve mentioned Janet Lansbury about a million times lately, but it’s because I really have become a little obsessed with her podcast.  As someone who has a young toddler and works with 3-6 year-olds, I learn something from every episode I listen to.  We have about a thirty minute commute, so I love listening on the way to school in the morning to help get me in the right mindset for the day.  I’m about to listen to her book, No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame on Audible as well and can’t wait!

One thing she talks about is trusting your child and your child’s process.

To me, part of this is trusting that James is capable of handling this change.  I know he’s social and generally enjoys being around other children.  If I show him that I believe he can handle it, he will have more confidence in the new situation.  If I act like I’m unsure of things, especially during school drop-off, it gives the message that situation is unsafe or that he shouldn’t be there.

This also means trusting that his process may involve some tears.  I have to be okay with his big emotions, whether that’s tears at drop off (which thankfully seem to have subsided for the time) or more tantrums at home.  I know that is part of how he’s processing this big change and I want to show him that his feelings are okay.

2. Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s bad

Montessori classrooms often have 1-2 trained teachers and then an assistant.  We have the BEST assistant right now and she is totally someone I’d like to be friends with outside of work too, which is always awesome.

She has a son about a year older than mine and she has been so supportive of me as I’ve adjusted to saying goodbye to James for part of the day.

He had a couple of really hard drop-offs and she reminded me that this separation is really a good experience and a great lesson in independence.  I’m by no means saying putting a child in school / child care is always the right decision.  I think it’s so different for each family and situation, but this did remind me that just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s bad.

3. Life is short

Have you guys read this letter yet?  I saw the link on this blog (which I love!) and it is so moving.  It’s a letter from a young woman who knew she was dying.  It’s a great reminder to let go of the little things and make the most of life.

I really like routine and schedule and feeling like things are under control.  Because of that, I really hate when things like naps are unpredictable or not going well.  This beautiful letter reminded me that in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter if my child doesn’t nap super well for a while.  We can still have great days together and enjoy this special time that goes by so quickly.

Has anyone inspired you lately / changed your perspective?

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  1. I love the perspective of “just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s bad.” So many things are challenging in the moment, but so worthwhile in the end. Hope each day of this transition is easier for you and your little guy.

    1. Thank you so much! It is definitely getting easier week by week…it’s mainly a good lesson for me in leting go of control, which is not my strong suit 🙂

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