Whether you’re traveling or staying local, the holiday season often brings chaos along with the joy.
I think all parents have had the experience of planning something super fun to do with their kids, only to have it “ruined” by a huge tantrum or generally grumpy child.
This can be really frustrating and disappointing, but it is also totally understandable. Kids, especially young kids, need and crave routine and when that routine is disrupted, even for something fun, they sometimes fall apart.
Does this mean you should skip the holiday events this year?
No, of course not! But it might mean you should plan a bit strategically. Here are a few tips!
1. Plan 1 special event per week
While it can be super tempting to want to do all-the-things, it is much more enjoyable for the whole family to do one or two holiday events when everyone is well-rested, than to have a holiday fun marathon that leaves everyone totally exhausted.
Try choosing one holiday event per week, or at least only one that messes with nap time/bedtime. You can have a backup in mind and do it if everyone is feeling good, but prioritizing one event ahead of time will help everyone get the rest they need.
2. Build in downtime
During the actual holidays, make sure to build in some downtime.
Are you rushing from Christmas brunch with one family to Christmas dinner at another? Stop at a park on the way and let your kids run around and just be kids. While you don’t want to miss time with family, everyone will have a much better time if your kids have some downtime too.
3. Don’t be afraid to abort
While you probably wouldn’t decide to cancel Christmas morning at your parents’ house, you can absolutely abort a trip to the mall to see Santa.
I don’t know about you, but I tend to get an idea of what a fun family experience will be like and march onward long after it’s clear that it will not indeed be fun.
If you feel yourself tensing up, take a breath and assess the situation. Is anyone actually having a good experience? Is this something you need to do, or can you just leave?
If you do decide to abort, try not to get mad at your child (this can be hard!) Just say something like, “It seems like everyone is too tired for this today, let’s go home and read books together instead.”
4. Make sure your child has a space to retreat
If you are traveling, make sure your child has a space of their own to retreat. This could be a tiny corner of a hotel room with a few of their toys or a room at Grandma’s house.
The size of the space is not important, what’s important is that your child has somewhere they can retreat if they get overstimulated or simply need a break from interacting with a million family members.
5. Warn them!
Giving kids a heads up about a break in routine can go a long way toward helping them be successful.
This is so simple to do but so easy to forget. You can say something really simple like, “normally we eat dinner at home and then get ready for bed, but today will be different. We’re going to a holiday party together and then will come home and go to bed.”
We spend so much time planning our calendars and coordinating schedules, it’s easy to forget to let our children in on the plans!
Do you have any tips for helping your kids stay regulated during holiday chaos?
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